The New Sexy…when it comes to who and how to date these days – playing it safe and seductive is considered the New Sexy.  It’s fun, provocative,  and it’s a real adrenaline rush!  I realize safe sounds boring at first but consider this… be honest, how many men really want a woman that will say yes to every man, where’s the challenge in that? And how many woman really want a man that’s a complete push over; a spine would be good. My point is, most people with a pulse, want to meet that person who sparks a bit of mystery, intrigue, and challenge.  Someone so provocative that they are capable of seducing you with out a word or direct contact. Just a glance from them makes your insides crazy and the kicker is no matter how you fight to forget them, the image of them will not be denied.  It’s like you’re on some strange drug and thoughts of them keep calling you back. You barely know their name and you’re already addicted.  Something inside of you has you calling out to someone you don’t even know, wanting to see someone you can barely visualize, and needing to hear their voice just make sure they’re real.  It’s in sane!  But you love it because it feels good.  While their ability to captivate you is addictive, unlike the negative effects of drugs, this addiction is good for you. But there’s a catch to this new sexy, no games allowed.  The only exception to that rule is if the games are mutual and it’s beneficial to both parties.  Some games are very good when they evoke positive reactions. There’s something refreshing about a person you can you can relate too in truth and honesty.  Ever met someone like that, who had the ability to get in to your head before you could get in to their pants or thong (which ever floats your boat!)?  Normally when we meet people there’s instant gratification due to visual stimulation.  Admit it,  first thoughts are normally not that honorable.  In that moment, most are drawn by what we see, not what you know about that person.  Ah yes, honesty, good for the soul and it will set you free.  So while we’re being honest, think back to all those people that turned you on by site and what happened once you really got to know them.  Now, how many of those same people -that you can actually remember – still turn you on? Or better yet, how many of them were still as attractive once you really got to know them?  This new sexy is just the opposite.  You stay attracted to them because you see them in a different light. They somehow transformed from an unrealistic fantasy to your dreams turned reality.   The main difference between a casual hook up and the new sexy is that you actually do something crazy like getting to know the person first before you have sex. Being honest out the box. Laying it on the line as you go.  No room for misleading or giving false impressions. No time for playing school yard games but keeping it real.  No, it doesn’t mean you put your personal business out there like that, not at all once. You open your self up on a need to know basis. You be the judge of what they need to know. You’re still getting to know this person and you need time to see if they are worthy of a peak in to your personal pandoras box.  Good questions to ask up front are things like are you really single, have kids, want kids, believe in causal sex or monogamy, do you smoke, drink, attend swinger parties,  are you religious, and so on.  Information of this sort is good to know the minute you think you’re interested.  It’s especially helpful if you’re religious. Yes, religious people like to meet real people too.  Believe it or not they like to date and be seduced as well; but by the right people of course.  No matter what you believe, we are all still human and we like to feel good.  So, with all that said, consider this – life worth living, isn’t it worth protecting?  Meeting people and initiating intimate relationships these days can cost you everything, especially your life.  If the bad sex doesn’t kill then perhaps some other unresolved issues might – like a crazy ex or spouse they forgot to mention. Believe it or not people lie about their marital status too. Some even go as far living two different lives because they got in too deep. Ask the right questions to avoid the nightmares. Just make sure to communicate honestly and insist on the same with them. The new sexy is all about open communication and feeling each other out.  It’s actually cool to have protected sex until you know it’s safe to take off the gloves. Don’t be afraid to ask about past risky sex habits. Most people like to brag about it, so let them have at it. Just make sure that you’re paying attention to what they are not telling you.  If you really want to play it safe hold off the sex until marriage.  I realize that’s not even a consideration for most, but there are some who are on that page.  You never know until you ask.  At any rate, with communication being the key of the new sexy, you might just find out you have something to talk about outsde of the bedroom.  Whatever you chose, chose wisely.  Ever wonder why it seems like the only time a relationship is exciting is when they are new? We’ll that’s because they hadn’t gotten old yet. Keep yours new by putting on the New Sexy.       Would love to know your thoughts on this… this is just my opinion from life’s observatory. 

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